Forbidden Touch
by swanqueensaviors
Summary: This is a SwanQueen fanfic that takes place in Season 4 Storybrooke, except that Emma doesn't become the dark one. It takes place about a month after the incident with the author and the magic quill. This is probably gonna get pretty angsty so get ready for the ride XD
1. Chapter 1

Emma swept her hair out of her eyes as she printed out parking tickets at the sheriff's station. Things in Storybrooke had been unusually quiet lately and the sheriff was enjoying the break from the normal chaos that erupted so often in the town. It had been about a month since the whole upset with the author and the rewriting of happy endings and things were finally dying down. The only call the station had received all day was from Granny who had a customer leave without paying.

Emma propped her feet up on her desk and starred off into space, taking a break from the dull work of filing and printing. The phone rang, surprising Emma so much that she nearly fell off her swivel chair. She picked up the phone, her heart still beating rapidly.

"Emma Swan, sheriff station, how may I be of assistance?" Emma spouted her usual phone answer.

"Emma! Come to Gold's shop right now. Rumple somehow made a new magic quill and he has the ink! It's the same kind that the author had but now Rumple is planning on rewriting everyone's fate and giving himself a happy ending. I need reinforcements!" Regina said in a hushed, but panicked voice.

Emma sprang out of her chair, " How did he get a new quill?!" she asked.

"He used the broken quill that belonged to Henry and used it to make a new one! Please come right this second!" Regina said

"I'll be there as soon as I can!" She grabbed her keys and ran out the door and into the patrol car.

With the petal to the metal, she sped down the empty main street with sirens and lights blazing. She ran through a red light and parked her car in front of the pawn shop. She noticed Regina's Mercedes Benz parked across the street and she ran inside the shop.

Upon entering, nothing seemed out of the ordinary; the shop was quiet and completely empty. There was no sign of Regina or Mr. Gold. She looked around behind the counter but there was no sign of anyone.

"Gold please stop! Think of what you are doing!" Emma heard the distant voice of the mayor coming from the back room. She ran into the back room and came upon Regina and Gold.

"What the hell is going on here?" Emma asked furiously.

"Well, hello to you too Miss Swan. It was great of you to show up at such a perfect time. You see, with this new quill that I've been working very hard on, I will be able to determine the fates of anyone I want. Now tell me, how would you like your happy ending to be? How about a wedding with Hook soon? And for you Regina, how about I write your dear sister out of the story and give you the baby you want with Robin?" Gold said, looking admirably at the hand-crafted quill.

"Gold do you seriously not remember the last time you and the author tried to rewrite things? If I am recalling the memory correctly, I'm pretty sure Regina was stabbed and nearly died. So how about you put the quill down and give it to me." Emma said in a calm voice.

Mr. Gold chuckled at the remark, "You see, if I gave you this quill, I would never have my dear Belle back. I would live and die alone and never have her to love. How do you expect me to get her to love me without this quill?"

"Rumple, forcing someone to love you isn't true love and you know that. Please, listen to Emma." Regina pleaded.

"Fine, if you don't want to be included in these magnificent happy endings that I could write you, I will write you different endings and trust me, they will not be happy at all." Rumple replied with a smirk.

"No!" Regina and Emma yelled simultaneously.

Mr. Gold laughed, "Too late! You had your chance to be a part of this. Let's see for Emma we will give a curse…"

Emma watched with eyes wide as he began to write in a blank book with the quill.

 _Emma will never be able to share a touch with her true love_.

Rumple read the curse out loud and Emma lunged at the man, ready to beat him until he handed over the quill. With a quick wave of his hand, Emma was pinned against the wall, held by Gold's dark magic. She was unable to move herself from the wall, but she still had control of her arms and legs, which were flailing crazily in an attempt to attack Rumple. All attempts failed as Rumple continued to write.

"And now for Regina, let's give her the a curse as well! But before I do that, let me write my own happy ending." Rumple said, the quill moving furiously across the page.

 _Rumple and Belle lived in love and happiness all the days of their life._

Regina and Emma made eye contact and in one fluid motion, both raised their arms and shot magic at the man, which threw him to the ground. The force caused the quill to go flying and it landed at Regina's feet. Rumple lay on the ground, completely discombobulated. He scrambled to get up and as he did so, he heard a horrid _snap!_ He looked up to see Regina had broken the quill in half and stuffed the two pieces in her coat pocket.

Emma fell to the ground from where she was pinned to the wall. Rumple stood up and laughed mischievously. "Did you think that snapping the quill would infuriate me? I already wrote myself a happy ending and Emma is now unable to touch her _precious_ loved one. The loss is yours!" Rumple announced.

Regina raised her arm and a flaming fireball formed in her palm.

"Come on Regina. Let's get out of here. It's no use fighting with him." Emma said as she picked herself up from the floor. She walked out of the back room and into the shop, with Regina directly behind her. They walked out the front door and out into the cold, Storybrooke air.

"Regina, what are you gonna do with the quill?" Emma asked, avoiding the thing that was on both her's and Regina's minds.

"Don't worry Miss Swan, I'll destroy it as soon as I get to my vault. Hey are you alright? You know, about the whole curse thing and not being able to touch Hook?" Regina asked with a concerned look on her face.

Emma swallowed and looked Regina in the eyes. "I don't know, I think I'm still processing the whole thing. And how do we even know that what he wrote will actually come true? After all, the quill was homemade and maybe it doesn't work." Emma said hopefully.

"Well, there's only one way for you to figure that out." Regina replied in a quiet voice.

Emma nodded knowingly as she got into the cop car. "I'll see you later tonight when I pick Henry up."

Regina smiled a sad smile, got into her own vehicle and drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma's grip on the steering wheel was so tight that she thought she might leave permanent on the dark leather. She was covered in a cold sweat and she anxiously prepared herself for the encounter with Hook. She knew that her meeting with her boyfriend might reveal that Gold's quill had legitimately shifted her fate. As she neared closer to the docks, her anxiety grew and she was beginning to feel sick to her stomach.

She reached the pier and practically jumped out of the car. She slammed the door behind her and ran to where Hook worked as the dock manager. Emma came to the small boat hut where Hook usually hung out on his lunch break which was right about now.

She tentatively knocked on the door and walked in, her palms sweaty and her brow furrowed.

"Hello Swan. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the sheriff's station?" Hook said from the stool he was perched on.

"Yeah, uhm I just came by because I miss you." Emma said, attempting to smile as best she could, despite the circumstances.

Hook got off of the stool and neared closer to Emma, so that his face was inches from hers. "Love, are you doing alright? You look a little pale and rather shaken up. Are you feeling ill?" The pirate asked.

Trying to act natural, Emma reached her hand out and attempted to stroke Killian's cheek. Her hand came in contact with the coarse whiskers on his face as she sighed with relief. She smiled and nodded "I'm alright…better now that I've seen you."

After some empty pleasantries, Emma and Hook shared a hug goodbye and she headed back to the sheriff station to finish up work for the day.

As she got into her car after a few hours at work, she still felt shaken up and she still felt a little off ever since the episode with Gold and his quill.

 _Emma, get over yourself. You touched Hook and he touched you back, which means Rumple's quill was total BS. Stop worrying so much!_ Emma thought to herself as she drove to Regina's house to pick up Henry. _Stop worrying and get your shit together._

She was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts when she saw Rumple walking down the street, arm in arm with Belle French. She was so startled at the sight that she nearly ran through a stop sign. Belle and Rumple were strolling down the sidewalk, laughing and having a splendid old time. Emma couldn't believe her eyes.

 _Maybe they made up. Maybe Belle forgave Rumple for all he did and maybe they got back together! That's gotta be it! It's just a coincidence that they made up on the same day as the whole "quill incident". The quill didn't work. If the quill had worked, you wouldn't have touched Hook. Emma stop freaking out. Stop freaking out. Stop freaking out._

That anxious feeling was back and Emma was starting to freak out again, but for the time being, she shook off her flying emotions and tried to concentrate on things that made sense in her life. She was on the way to pick up her son and she didn't want to be acting like a crackhead on one of the nights she got to spend time as just the two of them.

She parked the bug in front of Regina's house, walked up to the door and knocked. Barely five seconds later, the door swung open, revealing the mayor's face.

"Emma! Hey come on in. Henry's just packing up his bag." Regina said with a forced smile.

Emma walked into the grand entrance room and walked into the kitchen. She and Regina had been growing more familiar with each other each day, so it was no surprise to the mayor that Emma was pouring herself a glass of red wine.

"So how did it go with Killian and the whole…"touching situation"?" Regina asked cautiously; she had been waiting all day to ask Emma that question. She was desperately searching Emma's face for any sign of emotion, but the sheriff's expression remained blank.

Emma downed the glass before answering, "Well I touched Killian and he touched me back so apparently the quill was utter bullshit." Regina could hear a bitter tone to Emma's voice.

With a raised eyebrow, the former queen responded, "But that's a good thing, right? Why do you sound so upset about it?"

"Well for one thing, on my way here, I saw Gold and Belle walking down Main Street like a perfectly happy married couple. It was almost like they'd never had an argument with each other and that they'd been on the cover of _People_ magazine as "World's Best Couple" Emma said with a grimace.

Regina tried to hide her surprised expression, but ultimately failed. She tried to think of a way to respond to that new information. "Maybe they kissed and made up. I mean we know that the quill doesn't work because you touched Hook, which was definitely the opposite of what Rumple wrote in the book, right?" Regina tried.

"I guess you're right." Emma said, not sounding very convinced. Just then, Henry came into the kitchen.

"Ready to go, Mom?" Henry said.

Emma smiled and wrapped her arm around her son's back. "Let's head out kid!"

"Bye Henry, see you tomorrow!" Regina said, kissing him on the cheek.

Emma and Henry headed out of the kitchen and down to the front door. Regina followed and walked them to the door. She was about to pat Emma on the shoulder as a sort of reassuring, friendly gesture, but her hand hovered over the blonde's shoulder.

She quickly pulled her hand back, shook it around and then reattempted to place her hand on Emma's shoulder. Again, her hand stopped about an inch off of her shoulder. Something was stopping the mayor from touching the savior. She quickly put her hand into her pocket, but couldn't keep her mouth from gaping open. Emma turned around to say bye to Henry's other mother but she noticed Regina's surprised expression.

With a questioning look, Emma whispered, "You good Regina?" Regina nodded slowly and said goodbye as the sheriff and her son headed outside, shutting the door behind them.

When they had driven away, Regina walked into the kitchen and pulled her hand out of her pocket and starred at it. She shook her head and poured herself a glass of hard apple cider.

The mayor couldn't help but think the haunting thought… _what if the quill really did work, but it didn't affect Hook? What it affected me. But that would me that Emma…_

Regina shook her head, unwilling to think about the possibility that she was Emma's true love. After all, Emma had Hook and she had Robin Hood. Regina took a big swig of cider and topped off her glass.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a few days later and Emma was in her office sitting at her desk, when someone walked in. She looked up and saw Killian standing in front of her carrying a brown, paper bag.

"I brought you lunch. A tuna melt and a Sprite." Killian said with a smile.

"Thanks! My favorite!" Emma replied. A tuna melt with Sprite was definitely not her favorite.

He leaned down and gave her a kiss; Emma couldn't help but still feel a little weird whenever Killian touched her or vice versa. The events at Gold's shop had been so surreal and unsettling that she was having trouble shaking the feeling that the maybe the quill had worked. She kept hearing a relapsing thought in her head:

 _What if Killian isn't my true love?_

She moved the thought to the side and concentrated on her ham and cheese. She took a bite and tried to hide her dissatisfaction. She despised the taste of tuna and she had to swallow the bite whole so she could avoid some of the fishy taste.

"I have to get back to the docks but I'll pick you up at 6 and take you out on our anticipated date!" Hook said, giving her a gentle kiss goodbye.

Emma nodded and as soon as the pirate headed out the door, she threw the tuna sandwich into the trash barrel. They had been planning to go on this date for the past few days but Emma had been secretly dreading it. She had recently felt uncomfortable when she was around him and their relationship was beginning to feel unnatural.

She moved all her uneasy feelings aside and focused on work for the rest of the day.

It was 9 pm and Emma was sitting in her bug, alone after her date with Killian. She had had a terrible time while Hook had seemed to be having a wonderful time. Every second that he was holding her hand or putting his arm around her shoulder or kissing her was pure torture. She was beginning to despise his touch and she wasn't able to say why.

It got so bad that she had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom in the _middle_ of a kiss. Killian didn't have the intuition to see something was bothering her and he didn't even ask if she was alright.

Emma sat in the bug as gentle tears rolled down her face. She picked up her phone and dialed his phone number. She waited anxiously as the phone rang and she jumped when she heardKillian's scruffy voice on the other end.

"Hello love, couldn't bear to be without me for even 10 minutes?" Killian said with a chuckle.

Emma mentally gagged at the cockiness in his voice.

"Killian I can't- I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I just can't." Emma said as the tears wet her face.

"Swan, what are you trying to say?" Killian asked, all pride lost from his tone.

"I'm saying it's over Killian. I think we would be better off on our own. We've lost that spark and I can't do this anymore." Emma said blankly.

Killian argued with her for a few minutes about how he was "in love with her" and that "he didn't want to be without her" but Emma eventually cut him off with an apology and said goodbye.

As she hung up the phone she felt a weight fall off her shoulders and she felt more free than she had felt in a long time.

She sat in her car for awhile, not sure what to do with herself. She put the car into drive and pulled down the street, and decided to drive home.

She unlocked the front door and walked into the apartment. Mary Margaret was standing at the sink, washing dishes when she heard Emma come into the kitchen. She turned around and immediately noticed her daughters red eyes and tear stained face. She swung the drying cloth onto her shoulder, put down the half-clean plate and wrapped her arms around Emma. Emma stayed stiff as a board for a few seconds, before she returned the hug, a new wave of sobs bubbling up.

"Emma, what happened?" Mary Margaret asked quietly as soon as their embrace had ended. The two moved over to the couch and sat down.

"I broke up with Killian." Emma replied with a blank expression and monotone voice.

Mary Margaret couldn't help but look surprised. "Wait, what? You _broke up_ with Killian? I thought you two were perfect for each other."

Emma looked at her mother, awed that the usually supportive Mary Margaret had responded in this way, "Well, apparently we are NOT perfect for each other. The very thought of him makes me feel quite uneasy and uncomfortable currently and now that I've broken things off with him, I feel free."

"Are you sure that was the best decision? Don't you want to fight for what you had with Hook?" Mary Margaret asked.

Emma shook her head, "There is nothing to fight for. Can you please be supportive of me in this?"

The sheriff's mother nodded her head and took a hold of Emma's hand, "You said he made you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, but I don't think you told me the reason why…" Mary Margaret said tentatively.

Emma took a deep breath and relayed to her mother the events that had occurred in the past few days. She told everything from the quill Rumple had made, to the curse he had written. She told about the dull encounters with Hook, to the sighting of Belle happily with Rumple. Mary Margaret processed all her daughter had told her and sat in silent thought for a moment.

"Emma, don't kill me, but I have an idea as to why you have these negative feelings about Hook…" Mary Margaret started, "just hear me out. What if the reason you have been feeling uneasy around him, especially when he touches you, is because Killian isn't your true love."

Emma felt as if a bus had just hit her; hearing the very thought that had been mulling around in her head on nonstop repeat come out of her mother's mouth was overwhelming. She cleared her throat and barely nodded to signal to Mary Margaret to keep talking.

"If the quill had really worked (which it probably did, given the fact that Belle and Rumple are a couple now) you wouldn't have been able to come in physical contact with Killian. Just think about that Emma." Mary Margaret paused, searching her daughter's face. "Emma, are you okay?"

Emma creased her forehead, "I will be."

Mary Margaret gave Emma's hand a squeeze before releasing it. She kissed her daughter on her forehead and stood up. "I'm going to let you think for the night. I'll see you in the morning,"

Emma gave her mother a pained smile and lay down on the plush sofa. She closed her eyes and let all the events of the day wash over her in memory. She thought about all her mother had said and she realized how helpful and insightful Mary Margaret's observations had been.

The reality that Killian most likely wasn't her true love had fully sunk in and she felt at peace for the first time in awhile. Unfortunately for her, that refreshing peace of mind wouldn't last forever.

The worn out sheriff climbed the stairs to the loft and flopped down onto her bed. Her eyelids suddenly felt like they weighed thirty pounds and before she could get her pajamas on or even get under the covers, Emma was fast asleep.

She sprung up into a sitting position, her eyes wide and her heart beating wildly. She looked over at the clock on her desk. _2:49 am._ She let herself fall back onto the bed as she remembered the unsettling thought that had awoken her:

 _If Killian isn't my true love, than who is?_

She groaned and stood up from the bed. She paced around the loft for a minute, running her fingers through her hair. She tried to shove the thought into the back of her mind so she could get some more sleep, but the idea remained planted in the front of her mind.

 _Why do I need to know so badly who my true love is? It's only going to end up being torturous because what use is it to love someone if you cant hold their hand, or kiss their lips? Maybe I don't have a true love. Maybe I'm destined to live alone and to never fall in love._

The blonde grabbed one of her leather jackets from her dresser and tiptoed downstairs. She slowly opened the front door and crept out of the apartment, being careful not to wake up her mother.

The cool, autumn air was refreshing and cleared out the troubling thoughts floating through Emma's head. She started walking down the street with no destination in mind. There was chilling breeze in the air and she was thankful that she'd remembered to grab her jacket.

She walked past the sheriff station and saw her father through the window, reading a book at the desk. It was his turn at the night shift at the sheriff station. She passed the pawn shop, the diner and the next thing she knew, she was wandering into Storybrooke's quieter, residential section. Everything in town looked so different at after the sun had set and it took Emma a minute to realize what street she was on. She had been on this street numerous times since she'd moved to this godforsaken town.

Whether it was because she had a bone to pick with the homeowner, or to pick up her son for her night, Emma always had mixed emotions about this particular home on this particular street. She would have continued her midnight stroll past Regina's mansion, except for the fact that the light to the mayor's bedroom was switched on. Emma paused and couldn't peel her eyes from the illuminated window. Her eyes were yearning for movement of some kind from the grand window.

After a few minutes of starring hopefully at Regina's window, Emma began to feel embarrassed at how long she had been standing there. She started walking again in the direction she had come from, but her feet had a different plan. She headed straight across the street, onto the mayor's walkway, and up to the front door. Her hand hovered an inch from the door for awhile, before she gently knocked on the surface. When one minute passed and the door was still unanswered, Emma turned on her heel and was about to walk off the porch.

"Miss Swan?" Regina swung the door open and was met by Emma who was about to walk off the porch. The sudden swinging of the door had surprised Emma. With arms flailing, she fell down the steps and landed on the walkway with a grunt and a quiet "ouch".

Regina gasped and ran down the steps. "Emma! Oh my god sorry for startling you! Are you alright?"

Emma shook her hair out of her face, "Yeah I think I'm fine, just a little shaken up."

"Here let me help you up." Regina said, extending her hand. Emma was about to reach up to grab a hold of it, but suddenly Henry came running out the door.

"I heard voices and then a loud noise so I came running! Mom! Are you okay? What happened? Why are you here at 3:30 a.m.?" Henry blurted, as he helped his mother up.

"Thanks kid. Yeah I'm fine…no permanent damage" she said with a smile. "I saw your mother's light on and I decided to knock on the door because…well I'm not really sure why. I think I'm just overtired." Emma flustered

Both Henry and Regina looked Emma, then looked at each other, and then looked back at Emma again.

"Anyways, I had a weird day and I think I'm going to just head home." Emma said after a long, awkward silence.

Regina was about to invite the sheriff in, but then she remembered the event of a few days ago when she had tried to place her hand on Emma's shoulder. The mayor quickly shook off the idea of having the blonde come into her home at this time of the day.

She simply nodded and Emma walked away and down the street. Regina kissed Henry on the forehead and said goodnight, before she headed back to her bed where she had spent the whole night sitting and thinking. She sat down on the bed and let her mind return to thoughts of Emma.


End file.
